Age Vs Maturity

Maturity is always associated with age. "He is so old, he has seen life. Listen to him". Those who question this theory are rubbished as "bajaari" or "bajara" (Don't know the male version of it, so ;o)). Thats exactly why when a youngster though talks sense, he is silenced, "Keep quiet, you are so young to talk about it". Though I don't have much objection to this theory, there are times when I actually wonder whether that really holds good. Below are a few instances which I have come across.

This instance is when I decided to buy a four wheeler. After giving much thought about the total expenditure, the usage, etc I zero'ed on Santro. My uncle, on his visit to my home got to know about it from mom.
Uncle : Why don't you buy a big car?
Me : I don't know how much I am going to put it into use. Also I don't want much of financial commitment now.
Uncle : No no, you should buy a big car. Your 'that' uncle has a Wagon R and you should buy something bigger to it. Next year I will buy a Ford, I would love to see him jealous.

As if I am buying a car not for my own comfort but to belittle the other person. No doubt, we can stretch and some how go for bigger things in life. But is it required, unless my inner voice tells me. That too just show someone that I am better to you!!! Not that they hate each other or something, its just the baseless competition.

This particular incident happened once between two elderly people and once with two youngsters.
Elder 1 : You know my son is going to foreign.
Elder 2 : (Bit offended) My son will also go to foreign within six months. He will go for a very long duration. [The son standing there clueless...]

Youngster 1 : Hey, I am going on site man.
Youngster 2 : Reallyyy!!!WOW man, congrats!!! Where are you going? Good for our career man. Don't hesitate if you need any help OK?

Now... its the same situation, same matter. But the reactions are pole-apart. Youngsters these days realise that their chance too will come. Every one will get what he deserves. They are mature enough to realise, all that matters in their life is only what is happening in their 'own' life. There is no point in feeling bad at what we don't have and what someone else has. All that matters is "what we have and how best we can make it work for us".

This lady is around 55 in age, with normal behavior. All of a sudden hell broke at her house. She started making issues out of even small small incidents. Started judging her kids' action in a completely negative light. If they do something, she would crib and cry the whole day for doing it. If they don't, she would create an issue for not doing. Kids completely puzzled. After a few days, lady comes back to normal. When one of the kids asks her what had happened, she tells she was so upset that she is getting older. Wrinkles have appeared, hair is graying off. What will others think? How will they treat if she doesn't look good, if she looks old etc.

Its these elders who have seen life, who at sucha respectable age give so much unnecessary importance to the outer appearance. The people who gracefully accept this change look even more beautiful. Every wrinkle gives a sense of warmth. The twinkle in their eye gives enough confidence to challenge life. Every age comes with a new-ness which itself is a spice of life. C'mmon, can you imagine a guy who is at his 20 all through his life and be not bored!!!! It will be like eating the same sweet day and night, all the three times, year after year.

Maturity never comes with age. Its comes with the experiences the person has gone through. The challenges, the victories, the hurdles, the pains, the achievements, the smiles, the roles, the adversities, the world, the people, the LIFE.... every small lesson learnt adds up to experience. Looking at every experience in a different angle each time makes the experiences worth while. Such experiences bring in maturity.

:o)

21 comments:

  1. Really good one. I am aged, but immatured to comment more on this.;0).

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  2. you have brought up an interesting topic here.
    As you say its not age, but the experiences which matter, and more the time you spend the richer your experiences are going to be.

    I personally for long thought that age has nothing to do with the maturity.
    I hated when people used to tell me, I should not be reading certain kind of books, because they are for when you get really old.. this is the time to read fiction, not philosophy and so on.
    When it comes to Finances too, I was always being criticized for not thinking contemporary.
    The worst part was even, people just 5 years old to me thought, I was too young to think in a certain way I do..

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  3. You mean to say old people wont have maturity. I wont accept that.
    And i wont see the two examples you showed exactly suit to ur blog topic
    ( 1. Your uncle is happy to see you are better than the other person and this doesnt mean tat he is not matured
    2. And I wonder being jealous shud not be considered as they are not matured enuf like the youngsters).
    Its all perception matters and the way you brought up n life. Tats very important.
    If you just tell that age is not a matter of experience, i accept this. But I Say Maturity comes with age too when you grow up everyday and experience a lot with various lessons.
    What say Sis:-) U accept my point (@least 2 some xtent).

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  4. While its too easy to generalize that maturity never comes with age, I guess maturity is something which is easy to develop with age and experience.

    Some people develop it early on and some never!

    With age, maturity is expected but thats not necessarily the way it is all the time. Well, probably thats what differentiates people!

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  5. Nice reading this post...I can't agree more with your thoughts...experiences indeed bring a lot of maturity in us!!

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  6. humm.. just initial thought I agreed without any doubt regarding your views. But later considering 'Human nature'(which is even mentioned in this post) the experience comes with age.. hence they point age directly to maturity. And these elder people started cashing out the age-factor(avakashavaadigaLu) like saying kengal hanumantayya built vidhana soudha where as the truth is he just signed docs. Every one ignored the inmates and engs who did the actual work... just my views...
    BTW even I don't think/know something for bajara....the reason might be because of male dominant society you can get bajari and gandu-beeri words but not the male counterpart :)
    Thanks for interesting readings.

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  7. @Raji,
    Thanks dear :o) If you count the number of people who turn upto you for advice, (including me) you will come to know about your maturity level :o)

    @Rambler,
    Its a general feeling that people who are old or people who had miserable failures go for philosophy. But the reality is philosophy is nothing but the way of life. Its as if showing us something which we normally overlook or ignore. More early we get the reality , more happy we would be in life, as we would set our expectations right. :o)

    @Prabhu,
    :o) If we pay attention to the wordings uttered, you will come to know he was nowhere interested what I am doing and how well. Even, he didn't wanted to buy a better car for his comfort but to belittle someone.

    Whatever is the feeling, finally everything depends on action. That mean to say, jealous can be constructive and destructive. If you use jealousy for the betterment of self/others, its not bad. If you are using jealosy for hurting someone, to demean someone, then certainly it is bad one.

    Now next time when you see two people of same age, brought up in similar environment but have distinctly different characters, then you pay close attention, you yourself will come to know :o)

    And intentionally showing off in front of someone who is less fortunate than you is cruelty. Its as cruel as if someone is showing off a hungry person how good his food tastes!!!!

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  8. @Ashu,
    Thanks :o)

    @Chandru,
    Well, its not generalising actually. Thats what I felt after seeing people of same age group behaving differently at any given situation. In many cases, there were no differences in age, broughtup, family background etc. One happened to look closely at his life while the other chose to overlook the facts behind the experiences :o)

    @Kalyan,
    Thanks :o) But I got a bit confused about your comment.

    @Shriharsha,
    There are people who faced turbulent testing times, over and over than a normal human being. They tend to get experiences more often than usual.

    I agree with your 'bajara' analysis :o)

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  9. Thanks dear. I knew many people will disagree with your thoughts in this blog. I don't want to comment on their thoughts. May be people around them are different and they haven't had such experiences.

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  10. hey thats really an interesting topic......its really nice

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  11. :-).
    Hmm probably i haven't come across such situations.
    To add up, The so called “Maturity” that we gain with experience and age. There is two ways to look into it, Maturity in terms of knowing tat all those dreams r impractical and kiddish, and in terms of finding a channel or method to realize the dream, and not just dreaming. Most of us, take the first as its the easiest.

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  12. @Raji,
    True. What I write here are what I have observed & analysed. Though I don't say I am right, I just say thats what has come to my notice. Till we experience something normally we don't belive it exists :o) So people are very much welcome to agree or disagree :o)

    @Rajeshwari,
    Thanks a lot for visiting my blog :o)

    @Prabhu,
    Maturity never rubbishes any dream as kiddish or impractical. A dream is always the first step to any reality. May be maturity is something where you smilingly ignore all the criticism people throw at your dreams and to still belive and work towards making your dreams a reality.

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  13. Akshatha,
    I agree with you on the maturity thing. But what about those people who getting the experience also try to look at things in a negative way. I mean only when that experience can help you grow only if you have the right attitude to it.
    Very well written

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  14. Exactly Sumana. Experiences can make you bitter or can make you better. It entirely depends on what we chose to be :o)Its maturity which makes people to receive every experience in a good way right? Who can see every stumbling block as a new opportunity than to curse for the need to move past the block...

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  15. before saying anything....i should be candid on you being matured to your age, may be a little more! your blogs prostrates message, that you look into every aspect of life with your own perception and consider other's too. like every pro & con, people of every age have maturity, they seem applicable to anyone only when we greet their suggestions with open mind. but one has to be matured enough/little wise to decide on whether to accept it(advices....no one can be so dumb) orelse more pain. it is even true that when a person is pretentious, voraciously competitive.... maturity goes futile, it is overshadowed.
    & refering to your CAR instance, I got a complex, zilch! already I have a mid-size car, but still I wanted to buy a bigger one/SUV(after a year)....not to be pretentious, but to make my parents feel good. I know it is too far from being a necessity, but I havent made a conclusion yet. dont know whether I am right to others sense, but I hear to my conscience. & instance of a women geting old with wrinkles....my father is a contrary. with growing age, he looks younger(people say he looks like my brother!) & has the urge to live a better life making every moment worth it. he is an icon.
    finally, we cannot develop maturity....it comes with experience. and its strikingly true, that giving advice to someone is real easy(though with maturity!), but the one implementing faces the real game/music.

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  16. Hey buddy, aspiring for better things in life is never bad. Did you see these words of mine?, "....unless my inner voice tells me". But did you see one striking difference, you are buying something to make your parents happy. Anything done to make someone happy is great. Just I feel & mentioned that we shouldn't be doing something to show off in front of lesser fortunate :)

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  17. Absolutely true mate! agree with u completely on this.. "Life of adversity gives us maturity".. A person who has led a very adverse life even though young & has experienced success, knows how cruel life can be & how wonderfull it can get, when he tastes sweet smell of success.. The word "Shet happens" is true, but only matured people can clean that shet & move on, others who are not, if are unwilling to learn, dwell with the past & suffer, untill they learn & get matured!! Hope u catch ma phrase!..Cheers

    Rgds
    Anoop

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  18. @Anoop,
    You wrapped up the entire thing so beautifully in words :o) Thanks for visiting my blog :o)

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  19. Nicely put forward such controversial topics with all the situations described exactly fitting the bill, seriously commendable effort.
    But one thing that I feel missed is the answer to the question "Why your uncle, Elder 2 and Youngster 2 said all these?", probably because these are the kinds of thoughts they are surrounded with all day.

    Going abroad might not be a big thing for Youngster 2 these days but when Elder 2 was young, it was like living a dream. In your uncle's influential circle, people might share the same thought and those are the people with whom he interacts daily, thus, being a human he's bound to think like that suggest you what he thinks is best for you.

    The whole point here is people act, behave, respond, speak in a way that they see people in their influential circle behaving, acting etc. As already a known fact "Human is a social animal" he's bound to have effect of society he live in and behave in accordance with it.

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  20. hi!

    I feel, not all old people are like what you have mentioned before. I personally feel, maturity you get after you have some experience. Just for instance, you can only talk about kids after you have one for yourself (there may be exceptions like Mother Theresa). But, you become more mature after you face problems, find solutions. There are many elders who direct their next generation to the right path. Without them, India would not have
    retained its culture, even after people trying to spoil them. I certainly believe that those aged people can do miracles to the younger generation. Your uncle might have acted that way, but not all would do that :(
    They would have experienced life much more than us & they obviously know how to handle that.
    PS: I am not against your point, but just saying that dont generalize that aged people are not mature enough.

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