Just on Wednesday I was wondering whether the rainy season is over!!! As if just to prove me wrong, it poured and poured HOW!!! Having forgotten my track suit, I thought I would quickly go and get it. Ignoring mom's umbrella suggestion, I started back to office.Voila!!! All of a sudden as if somebody threw a bucket of water, it rained. In no time I was drenched and dripping :( Somehow made it to the office gym and changed quickly. After an hour of work out my mind refused to change back into the cold and wet dress. I decided to go back home in the track suit it self. But it was still raining :'( Waited for sometime and then thought of taking a quick walk to home. Took the back side door which is closer. The moment I came out I realised I am standing in front of a river. No way anyone can distinguish where the road starts and where it ends. Most importantly where the gutter is. The river was brown and black at times carrying all the wastage.

Now my mind was in splits. Whether to risk and try navigating myself through it or to go back. Sudden memories of pathetically dug up road made me to take a reverse turn and go back Thought I would take an auto from the front gate. Rain was getting stronger. Just as icing on the cake, my sandals were getting slipped out of legs every now and then. At one frustrating moment I removed my sandals, folded my pants and started walking. When I reached the front gate, there were only 2 autos. Nothing can go better than this :) As expected both refused to come for a short distance trip.

There is a kannada proverb, "Once you are drenched, whats rain and whats cold" Cursed them and started towards my home. Nobody seemed to care for anyone around. There was one guy who was carrying two umbrellas but didn't even bothered to help!!! When all the vehicles were rushing past splashing water and just when I was about to conclude that this is how we HUMANS have become, one gentleman in bike stops and asks "Mam, do you want a drop?". Normally I don't take favours and never from a stranger. But thought of giving it a shot, just to see whether what I was thinking so far is correct or still we have left with some humanity + decency. I asked him to drop just near a major landmark, not very far though. After he dropped, I was pleasantly surprised and thankful. He was William working for Target. Still there are helpful people :)

Walked to home. Though being drenched and wet is not sucha comfortable experience, especially in a cold night, I was thrilled and happy at the same time. I felt good that I am not dependant on anybody in any condition. Neither on people nor on curse worthy autos. Just like Calvin says, "they can chain me, not my spirits" I felt like yelling, "rain can dampen me but not my spirits" :P That happiness led to some sinful indulgence. I desperately wanted to eat something spicy and ate one packful of chips. Consoled myself that, it will just compensate 6km walk, the effect of one hour work out would still remain right? :P :P

But then there was only one worry and just like the sweet kid, I prayed God - " No fever on the weekend pleasseee OK?certainly not on a LONG weekend" :P


Recently during our lunch, my friend was telling about her friend who is about to get married and how the girl who is marrying him is indecisive about the marriage. The guy provided an explanation "she is like a kid" for her indecisiveness. My sudden and involuntary reaction was " c'mmon yaar, don't humiliate kids!!!" Though the reaction was very much unthought, it became more real when I pondered on the thought for a while!!!

More often, we sum up a person's behaviour as kiddish or childish when we find the person immature, indecisive, stubborn etc. But given a slight observation to kids would change the entire notion about kids. Till kids learn to ape the behaviour of their elders, they are very much decisive about what they want. They never think whats profitable, they just listen to their little hearts and go by that. May be sometimes thats been named as stubbornness of kids, as they want what they want. Most people are indecisive because they want best of both the worlds. The profit of one side pulls back when you are about to go towards the other side, profit is not always monetary mind you!!!

Now that I have started thinking about this aspect of kids, there are so many things which keep coming to my mind. When a kid starts doing some work, its very tough to distract him, he will stop only when its done and only when he is completely satisfied. The amount of concentration is commendable. They put their heart and soul into whatever they are doing. Another best aspect of kids is forgiveness. They never carry the baggage of hurt, resentment and hatred. They might fight ferociously in a moment and the very next moment they will be playing again as if nothing happened. They love everyone, having no bar for caste, class or the colour. How innocent!!! How sweet!!!

I shudder to think of world without kids. It would look like a barren field having no rains since ages. The unconditional love, the innocence, the care, the forgiveness will vanish from this earth. More dangerous is the fact that we are making them grow unnaturally faster. I wish kids were allowed to nurture the innocence, tenderness at least for few more years before they are cruelly pushed into the worldly rat race. I wish kids were more often used in comparison scales for all the positivity they have. I wish everybody were to keep that kid in themselves alive, so that we could have a planet with love, care, innocence devoid of materialism, greed and hatred. Its so refreshing to see a smiling kid, seems like all the stress is melting like ice in front of sun!!!

Object Of My Affection

I am back :D ... and feeling so good to be back. Past few months were very gruelling but very gratifying. Any new change brings in lots of enthusiasm and spice to life. Thanks Sumana for tagging me. I was super excited with this idea and I was longing to write about it all those moments which gave my mind some time to relax. I hope you don't mind if I change it a bit. Instead of Object of my Affection, I want to make it as Objects. Here is the list of my Jee ka tuk tuks :P

1. Pepper Spray :
Ok, Don't laugh. This is one of the gifts my hubby, (then a friend) gave me on my birthday. Those were the days when we were slogging like hell having no clue what time we leave office every night/day. The route which I needed to traverse was secluded and lifeless. When many of my friends rubbished this saying "when guys themselves are not so ambitious, when they can leave office early why can't you?" or "In my office girls leave sharp by 6, why can't you?", my hubby brought this as one of the gifts on my birthday. I loved it the moment I saw it and I was atmost touched. This has been with me since then and has seen all the time of day and night with me. This would top my list anyday....

2. My first gift after marriage:
My marriage was after my dad's death and in noway I wanted anybody's favour. I had set budget for all the expenses. When we had gone for jewellary shopping, I saw this piece of jewellary and we fell in love with it instantly. But after buying so many essentials I didn't wanted to use my buffer money and said "leave it". Thats the time when my husband had lost his purse. Having no money in hand, no cards he tried to make me buy that, but in vein. After my marriage, the same night, we both had been to drop all our friends to a nearby place for their respective buses/trains. On the way back, I felt blessed to be in silence from morning's rituals, noise etc. The first thought that came to my mind was about this chain. I never had much fascination for yellow metal. Most of the times, I love to be without much ad-ons. I am the happiest when I am simple, but this was different. Whether it is still there? If not, I should tell the jewellary guy to make exactly similar one etc. Reached my in-laws' place and the moment I came to my room, my hubby gave this to me. My heart skipped a bit. I just fell in love with him, again :P He went and bought it the next day it seems but kept it as secret till we got married :D

3. Books:
I just love books. I can read anything to everything. From fictional to realistic, from biographies to novels, from motivational to cartoons. Diving into the books is as good a vacation as running in the hot sand in the blue lined beach. I see to it atleast I read a minimum of five pages a day, whatever the time I reach home. They are the best friends any body can have :)

Since this is my first tag, I tag all those who read this. I am curious to know what objects of affection you have :)

Hanuman Returns

After a long time I saw one cute and innocent movie. Hanuman Returns. Its a complete joy ride. Hanuman who is pissed off seeing the same faces (read as GODs :-P) wants to go to earth. He persuades Brahma to agree to it and to send him to earth. Brahma agrees and tells Hanuman to take human birth. From here begins Hanuman's journey.

The most exciting part of the movie would be the way Gods are treated. Unlike the usual way where Gods talk in "Shuddha" Hindi, here Gods are contemporary. They talk "taporish" hindi, even mixed with English!!! In order to scare Hanuman of human beings, Brahma asks Chitra Gupta to show him the crime rates in earth. But whats Chitra Gupta doing? He is surfing through Menaka.com in his posh laptop!!!! Wowiieee. Also, Brahma shows some bandaged Gods who were posted in earth!!! Finally when Brahma agrees to Hanuman's pursuation to give him human birth, he says " Tumhare poonch ka mein kuch nahin kar saktha. Yeh detachable nahin hain" :-P [I can't do anything with our tail, thats not detachable!!!]. Hilarious!!! If Chitra Gupta carries a laptop and draws graph showing crime rates, there is this eagle which uses X ray goggles, hands-free headset to communicate with fellow people. Quite advanced huhhh!!!

Fun is not only limited to this. There is Gabbar Singh coming in between & there is a matrix act my Hanuman. There are nice peppy foot tapping songs with beautiful imagination. Full of life and enthusiasm. In short a movie, not only for kids but for all generations.

Hanuman once takes his Hanuman form, can not get back his human form again. That was the contract Hanuman would have signed before leaving swarg. When Narada reminds him about this, Hanuman says, "Brahmaji acche hain, main unko manipulate karke dharthi pe phir aa jaoonga!!!" (Brahmaji is good, I will manipulate him and come back to earth!!!

Excellent movie!!! Hope such movies keep coming in!!!

Why ME #$@^&$!!!

Everyone in one situation or the other would have certainly thought, "Why Me??? Why is that everyone is so happy and its only me who gets into all the troubles, pains? I am the most neglected child of God... There is nothing called luck in my life"... Even I used to think so...

It came as a shock when my dad died. Through he had suffered a mild heart attack ten years ago, he maintained himself so well that nobody could have figured out his illness. I was quite young then. All of a sudden, I felt as if I have been left out in a lonely dark world. In a place where I will have do everything myself, with extra caution. With nobody to guide. Future seemed gloomy. A tunnel without an end. Though had a good job to support I felt very very insecure. I didn't wanted to cry, as I thought it would break my mother. Then I asked to God one day, "Why me???" I could see many girls happy being in their father's shelter, having to worry about nothing. "Why me then???" Girls who are taken very good care of, with no responsibilities. Then "Why me? Why I was targeted to undergo such misery? Why is that I have do every damn thing?". I felt terrible, left out and lonely. Joined Yoga. Funny, the girl who never used to get up early even for the studies started getting up as early as 5 AM in the morning. Started working like maniac, for 16-18 hours on an average and sometimes even straight 48 hours. Just with one desire to crash on the bed. Strange, sleep was eluding. Most of the times I cried to sleep. Again thinking, "Why me??"

Nature has strange laws. If those were the plight of night, I was a clown during the day time. I laughed, laughed and laughed. Narrating Yoga mates' terrible postures, funny incidents or seeing fun in any damn thing. We laughed till our stomaches ached. During my times with my self, I still continued to think I am the only one under pain. Till one day... Suddenly I wanted to look deeper into everybody around me. To see how protected, well sheltered, how happy people are. But more I saw, I realized, its not only me. A friend struggling to convince her orthodox parents about her love, a friend who is not happy with his job, a friend who has back breaking responsibilities, a friend nursing broken heart, a women recovering from husband's death, a woman facing in-laws wrath, a man suffering because of his just-born's illness, a man undergoing a divorce....

This reminded me of "Law of Equilibrium". Everybody has their own pains, sarrows, challenges at one point or the other. There can never be a single person on earth who might not have any pain during his lifetime. This suddenly changed the way of thinking. From "Why me" to "How lucky I am".... Indeed I was lucky, always. My father died an easy death which anybody would love to have. No suffering even for 5 minutes. Most importantly, he died when he was happy. Happy of himself, for being able to fulfil his dreams, to marry of one daughter and to see other independant, doing very well. He was quite a fighter. Even in the end-of-the-world sort of affairs he kept his calm and faced things head on. When I saw myself next time in mirror, I didn't see a person low with burden but a person with confidence to face everything came by. There I could see self-worth.

It indeed brought in many changes in me. It showed me who are really with you and who are not. It made me strong to keep the wanted and leave the unwanted. Even a certain name sake relations. It made me wise, it made me mature. It made me a human being out of career and success obsessed robot. It made me realise, the first and last love in this world is, "Self Love". One who is happy can keep the world happy. One who is not, sees unhappiness and short comings in everything. It made me realise, life must go one. It stops for none, literally. I love all those who were there with me that time, they are the pillars of my life. I thank all those (without a hint of sarcasm) whom I thought would be present, but weren't. If you were to be there, may be I wouldn't have become so strong.

If I look back, all those incidents which made me mutter "why me?", are the ones which shaped me. I would have been never this way if I were to be taken complete care of, sheltered without any responsibilities. There were several testing times later, but I knew I am shaping up even better. It somehow didn't seem to be so painful as it used to be earlier. Decisions were easy. Its a great feeling to be in control of your own life. Life looks all that beautiful. Thank God!!! For all those circumstances, without them I wouldn't have become "Me". Today if I am happy, peaceful, kind & focused, thats only because of those testing times.

Next time if you have to undergo difficult times, belive me you are shaping up. Belive me you would come out as a person of worth, strong in everyway. You are a beautiful sculpture in the making.


Deleted Movie Scenes

I was watching some videos and "Related Videos" tab showed me couple of deleted scenes of various movies. Believe me, deleted scenes are lot more fun. Let me start with a few which I watched,

This movie however was made would have attracted lots of opposition. Somehow, though reality, still we can't take movies on infidelity . But I felt the movie was good. (I know this line itself would attract lots of opposition now ;o)) Many people asked me "What was the reason for Rani to leave Abhishek?" According to many people, Rani had no reason to leave him. True, but if proper reasoning were to be applied, don't you think more than 50% of the breakups/divorces would never occur. Anyways, following video tries to touch reason. Rani being cleanliness freak in the movie hardly enjoys life. Abhishek teases her saying "your idea of holidaying is vacuuimng, cleaning, scrubbing...". Now look at the video,

2. Rang De Basanti
Why did they cut these scenes??? Every scene is so very beautifully shot. It would have added more meaning to the movie. Loved the scene where Atul Kulkarni though mouthing "this land is yours as much as mine", hesitates to touch Kunal who is a muslim in the movie. But with every repetation, he tends to overcome his inhibition. A nice subtle scene indeed.

After a long time I got an urge to strangle someone's neck. This video would have been a great watch only if film maker were not to speak non-stop from the background as why he cut the scene, what it means to him blah blah blah. Idiotic. Strange since this is the film maker who gave sucha nice film like DDLJ!!!!

Would have loved to see the deleted scenes of so many movies. But no luck this time. Hope to see much more such videos, thanks to the DVD releases of movies these days...


Age Vs Maturity

Maturity is always associated with age. "He is so old, he has seen life. Listen to him". Those who question this theory are rubbished as "bajaari" or "bajara" (Don't know the male version of it, so ;o)). Thats exactly why when a youngster though talks sense, he is silenced, "Keep quiet, you are so young to talk about it". Though I don't have much objection to this theory, there are times when I actually wonder whether that really holds good. Below are a few instances which I have come across.

This instance is when I decided to buy a four wheeler. After giving much thought about the total expenditure, the usage, etc I zero'ed on Santro. My uncle, on his visit to my home got to know about it from mom.
Uncle : Why don't you buy a big car?
Me : I don't know how much I am going to put it into use. Also I don't want much of financial commitment now.
Uncle : No no, you should buy a big car. Your 'that' uncle has a Wagon R and you should buy something bigger to it. Next year I will buy a Ford, I would love to see him jealous.

As if I am buying a car not for my own comfort but to belittle the other person. No doubt, we can stretch and some how go for bigger things in life. But is it required, unless my inner voice tells me. That too just show someone that I am better to you!!! Not that they hate each other or something, its just the baseless competition.

This particular incident happened once between two elderly people and once with two youngsters.
Elder 1 : You know my son is going to foreign.
Elder 2 : (Bit offended) My son will also go to foreign within six months. He will go for a very long duration. [The son standing there clueless...]

Youngster 1 : Hey, I am going on site man.
Youngster 2 : Reallyyy!!!WOW man, congrats!!! Where are you going? Good for our career man. Don't hesitate if you need any help OK?

Now... its the same situation, same matter. But the reactions are pole-apart. Youngsters these days realise that their chance too will come. Every one will get what he deserves. They are mature enough to realise, all that matters in their life is only what is happening in their 'own' life. There is no point in feeling bad at what we don't have and what someone else has. All that matters is "what we have and how best we can make it work for us".

This lady is around 55 in age, with normal behavior. All of a sudden hell broke at her house. She started making issues out of even small small incidents. Started judging her kids' action in a completely negative light. If they do something, she would crib and cry the whole day for doing it. If they don't, she would create an issue for not doing. Kids completely puzzled. After a few days, lady comes back to normal. When one of the kids asks her what had happened, she tells she was so upset that she is getting older. Wrinkles have appeared, hair is graying off. What will others think? How will they treat if she doesn't look good, if she looks old etc.

Its these elders who have seen life, who at sucha respectable age give so much unnecessary importance to the outer appearance. The people who gracefully accept this change look even more beautiful. Every wrinkle gives a sense of warmth. The twinkle in their eye gives enough confidence to challenge life. Every age comes with a new-ness which itself is a spice of life. C'mmon, can you imagine a guy who is at his 20 all through his life and be not bored!!!! It will be like eating the same sweet day and night, all the three times, year after year.

Maturity never comes with age. Its comes with the experiences the person has gone through. The challenges, the victories, the hurdles, the pains, the achievements, the smiles, the roles, the adversities, the world, the people, the LIFE.... every small lesson learnt adds up to experience. Looking at every experience in a different angle each time makes the experiences worth while. Such experiences bring in maturity.


Where to draw a line???!!!

From past few months, I have been an active blog reader. Blogs ranging from personal to philosophical, technical to humorous. There is an old saying which says, book is a mirror to the author's mind. So true!!! Some blogs touched my heart, some made me laugh my heart out. Some made me wonder how people can go so much low to get traffic into their blog. Some left me disgusted for its content. That left me thinking, "Where to draw a line?" Here is what I feel.

1. If you want to forget some bad thing of life, never ever write it down anywhere. Not in your diary, not in your blog, nowhere. When you write something, your mind registers it for long. It makes your healing slow. At the same time, you will be making your private life public, to both good and bad part of people. You should be ready for both support and brick-bats. There will be a part of public who takes specific interest in analysing other's life and giving their precious valuable(?) comments. That either can give you solace or put you into mental misery. If you are making your private life public, be ready for both. Or the best choice is to try erasing all the traces of it, from your life, from your memory, from your blog space.

2. Never ever take names. Be it of people or the companies. Everyone goes through the angry phase and when we are in that phase we tend to think,speak & write more about it. When the heat dies down, you may later think you reacted a bit more than required. But the damage is already done. World is a small place. You might end up being in the same company again or you might end up interacting with the same people. At the same time, life is so small to keep grudge about someone. Even a hint of such grudge can pull you away from happiness. Is that required? Ignore which is unpleasant to you and move on towards happiness!!!

Its not bad to vent your feelings out. But that also depends on whom you are confiding. In a place like blog space everything is accessible to everyone. There may be a few real good people who would honestly lend their shoulder for you. But there are also people who either raise their self esteem by supporting you and there are also people who though at current time support you, later might use the same instance to judge or hurt you. There are also chances that overwhelming sympathy may lead to self-pity. Why give chance. God gives everyone enough strength to fight for their well being, to come out of any terrible conditions, just like Gold out of fire. Every tool can turn out to your benefit if used thoughtfully. Next time when you want to vent out, take a deep breath, ask yourself "Would you like to read the same stuff few years down the lane?"

Happy Blogging :o) & Happy well being to everyone :o)